Updated: Aug 21, 2019
Dating someone who is depressed and suicidal is very daunting. You never know whether the next thing you say or do will be the last thing you do or say to them. There really is no pushing them over the edge because they live over the edge. It’s never a matter of if, it’s a matter of when, unless they choose to walk with you back down the road and finally see their worth. Let’s be honest, life can be hectic for all of us. We all have been fed up. Some of us have been fed up more than most. Even more are depressed and have been fed up and have sat and cried and have probably seen no way out. And then you have those that have been clinically depressed with suicidal tendencies that see the only way out as suicide, despite what reason you give. Some days are good for them, but most of their days are bad. They see absolutely no way out. All they want is the pain to stop.
I’ve been diagnosed as clinically depressed. I have had times when I sat and cried myself to sleep many nights because the pain had gotten unbearable. And for a brief second, just a brief second, the thought entered my mind. But just as quickly as it entered, it left. The closest it really came to being a staying thought was me running my car into a jersey barrier, not to kill myself but to mask the pain with other pain or to hit the bastard that caused my childhood trauma. I seriously joke that I would gladly do that time. I’ve tried neither but the thoughts continuously cross my mind, they just don’t make it a habit of staying there.
Being in a relationship with someone that is depressed with suicidal tendencies is very different and sometimes difficult. You want to help, but nothing you do can make it better. It’s not about you, it’s about them. They see themselves as failures. Have you ever tried to convince someone they aren’t a failure? That is extremely hard to do. Because no matter what you do they don’t believe you. They blame themselves for everything from it raining that day to global warming and everything in between. I over exaggerate, but not by much. It’s hard loving someone depressed with suicidal tendencies. You learn they’ve tried several times before, but they won’t tell you when or their reason why. You just know they have a plan and they know you will try to stop them, so they won’t give you details as to how. All they will say is it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. You want to think that you are all that and a bag of chips and no one would want to die while around you because your love is all that, but like I said it’s not about you. It’s all about them and their emotions and feelings and whether they can continue fight one more second. All you can hope to do is hold on to them for as long as you can and hope that one day they will see all the wonderful things that you see in them. Until then you support them, listen to them, you let them cry if they need to, you let them vent, and you show them how much you love and care for them. Above all, you make sure they take their medication and attend their appointments. If they aren’t on medication or seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist encourage them to do so, help them find one. That could be the difference in life or death for them.
If you are contemplating thoughts of hurting yourself please call:
Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255 you can also chat online - www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat
Crisis Text Line: 741741 (text)
Veterans Crisis Line: 800-273-8255 press 1 or text 838255