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Doing It Alone

You don't have to go through this alone. I hear this phrase over and over again. My response is always thanks for the offer, if I need anything I'll let you know. In all honesty, I kind of do have to go through this alone. It may seem selfish and it may seem a tad bit isolating but during my healing process doesn't seem to do much for me if I include others now does it. I went through my trauma alone. For all intents and purposes I must go through the healing process alone. All the nights I cried myself to sleep, I was alone. The nights I was forced to do things I didn’t want to, I was alone. The night it all came rushing back after I buried it twelve years earlier and essentially forgot about the vast majority of it, I was alone. That same night I was in a fetal position and cried myself to sleep, I was alone. So no, I definitely appreciate the offer, but no I have to go through this alone. Unless you have felt the pain I felt, unless you've walked in the shoes I've walked in, unless you have seen the world without those rose colored glasses, you won't know how it feels, taste, or smell. So I must do it alone.  ~o.flows.up

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